People Supporter

I had a huge aha the other day. I thought I knew the essentials, but I didn’t really, or rather I didn’t accept them.

For almost my entire life I have been a people pleaser, in the hopes that I would fit in. Sadly I never did and I never realized why or why I wasn’t part of the group or community. In hindsight, I now realize the community or group wasn’t what was so important to me, it was the sense of belonging that I was craving. Year after year I continued to feel I never belonged anywhere or that I was accepted or that I was valued or that I mattered. And that hurt, really hurt.

I ended up moving far away from all that I knew feeling more lost each day until I finally started listening to myself. There was no one else around so my inner voice or instinct was all that I had. I’d be in a situation, any situation and feel afraid until that little voice inside me told me what I should do. Finally I listened and realized that my inner voice was always right. Gradually my fear fell away and I learned to rely more and more on myself until I finally got it. We all instinctively know what is right for us, we just don’t trust it out of fear that we will be laughed at, bullied, ignored or walked away from.

Ironically once I really began relying on my own inner voice or my inner knowing, I felt more at peace, more accepting and more inspired. Others may not agree with my choices, but that was okay, what matters is that I agree as I follow my inner guidance. From this perspective I found I became more authentic, more real and more willing to step up for others, especially women. For I knew all too well what it felt like to walk alone and be in constant fear.

So instead of being a people pleaser, I found myself to be a people supporter wherein I owned myself. I loved it! My self-acceptance and my self-love grew and I felt a peace I had never felt before.

The other day a concept came to me. At the end of our time here, many say I wish I had … or I am glad I did …

For me now, I feel so blessed to realize that finally, I can say, I am glad I did.